Groovy Time with Ash and Bubblegum
by Nick4120
Summary: Getting sucked into the vortex, Ash Williams, the grooviest monster killer of all time, is teleported to Ooo. Watch as he goes to groovy adventures (and tier 15) with Princess Bubblegum.


Groovy Time with Ash and Bubblegum

(So after watching Army of Darkness and Adventure Time, I thought "How awesome would it be if Ash ended up in Ooo instead of 1300 AD? This is the result.)

Groovy

Come on, grab your boomstick

Well fight many scary pricks

With Bubblegum

And Ash the Human

The grooviness will never end

GROOVY TIME

"My names Ash, and I have no clue in hell where the hell I am. And all around me are a bunch of walking candy. Crazy, right?

It wasn't always like this. I had a life. A real life, once. A job. I also had a wonderful girlfriend Linda. Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: Necronomiconexmortis. The Book of the Dead. Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Samarian text contained bizarre burial rights, funeral incantations, and demon resurrection passages, it was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something dark in the woods, something evil.

It took Linda. Then it came after me, it got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist.

But that didn't stop it. It came back big time.

We thought we could stop it. We created a vortex to suck it away, but I was pulled in with it, along with my Oldsmobile.

I have no clue where I am now, but I'm hearing that it's someplace called 'The Candy Kingdom'."

-Ash Williams, after being caught by the Banana Guards when he fell from the sky, near the door to the Candy Kingdom.

"Uggh." Ash said as the Banana Guards continued to drag him through the town. "Hey assholes!" He said. "Let me go!"

"No talking!" One of the Banana Guards, which was holding Ash's chainsaw and boomstick. "You're our prisoner!"

They continued to the upcoming palace and opened the doors, revealing a large throne room. At the end of it was a pink-skin woman wearing a crown. Sitting near her was a long rainbow unicorn.

"What the hell?" Ash thought, but at this point, he accepted anything.

"Princess Bubblegum!" The three Banana Guards said in unison. "We found someone falling from the sky!"

The princess looked over to Ash. "Wait..." She said. "That's a human! Release him!" She yelled at the Banana Guards, who dropped him to the ground and dropped his weapons on him.

"Ow! Hey!" Ash yelled at the guards. "Watch it assholes, or else I'll shove another popsicle stick up your asses!"

"Princess!" The Banana Guard said. "He's being mean to us!"

"Just leave!" Bubblegum said as she face palmed. The Banana Guards then left the room and Bubblegum walked over to Ash. "I'm so sorry about that. Are you really a human?"

"Yeah." Ash said as he stood up. "Why are you asking if I'm human?" He asked.

"Well, we always thought that humans were extinct." Bubblegum asked. "They all died in the Mushroom War."

"In the Mushroom War?" Ash asked. "Look, baby. I don't know where I am, but I need to get back home."

"Honestly," Bubblegum said. "I would love to help, but I wouldn't know where to begin."

"Damn!" Ash said as he picked up his chainsaw and reattached it to his stump arm. "Anyways, names Ash. You?" He then pointed to the rainbow unicorn. "And what's that?"

"I am Princess Bubblegum." She said. "And that over there, is Lady Rainicorn."

Lady mumbled something in korean.

The ceiling in the throne room then shook and cracked. A hole then appeared at the top as a large fat man with blue skin flew in. He had a long white beard and hair and wore a blue tunic and gold crown with three red jewels.

Lady growled at the man as Bubblegum gasped. "Ice King!"

"Who?" Ash said, getting his boomstick.

The Ice King lowered himself and snatched Bubblegum. He then flew out through the hole he came in through.

"What the fuck?" Ash shouted.

Lady them began to panic as she flew towards Ash. She then rapidly spoke in Korean.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Ash said as he pushed Lady Raincorn out of his comfort zone. "Ok, I get your panicking because the princess just got kidnapped, so you want my help?"

Lady smiled as she nodded.

Ash then climbed onto her back, his boomstick in hand. "Then onto wherever they went to!"

Lady then began to fly, following the Ice King as he flew to his lair, with Bubblegum in his hands.

As they flew, Ash looked down to see some kid dancing with what appeared to be a bipedal dog. "What the hell?" He said as he and Lady continued to fly off.

Eventually, they finally got to the Ice Kingdom, but the Ice King was waiting for them. He fired lightning bolts at them.

"Aw, shit!" Ash said as he loaded his boomstick. "Lady, get me close enough to jump off!"

Lady said something in Korean, Ash assumed that she said yes, seeing that she was quickly approaching the Ice King.

When they got close enough, Ash jumped off and pounced on the Ice King. The two tumbled onto the ground. Ash's boomstick slid twenty feet away, so Ash could only fight with his chainsaw.

Ash got up and ran toward a tied up Princess Bubblegum. He used the chainsaw to cut the ropes. "Get out of here!" Ash said.

Bubblegum then began to run.

The Ice King got up and approached Ash. "Hey come on man!" He rose his fist and began to charge another lightning attack. "You're ice-blocking my game!"

"Why the hell is an old man like you trying to kidnap the girl like the princess?" Ash asked.

"Im gonna make one marry me!" The Ice King said.

"That's stupid!" Ash said, revving up his chainsaw.

"Oh yeah?" The Ice King said, scanning Ash to find something he could make fun of. "Well... Your chin is stupid!"

The Ice King made a fatal mistake. He insulted Ash's divined chin.

"My chin!" Ash said, running toward the Ice King with his chainsaw. "Is AWESOME!"

It was too late. The Ice King froze Ash in ice. "Oh Bubblegum!" He said in a seductive tone. ?I know you're in here! Where are you?"

Ash then woke up on a metal landscape. He examined his surroundings and concluded that he was no longer on the same planet.

"Ash!" Optimus Prime said from behind.

"What the? Optimus Prime?!" Ash said as he examined Optimus.

"Ash, your mind has been sent back in time. Also to Cybertron!" Optimus said as he walked toward him. "Ash, you must believe in yourself! And only then, you shall save the princess, obtain god-like grooviness and you shall obtain access to Tier fifteen with her!"

"Tier what?" Ash asked.

"You'll figure it out!" Optimus snapped his fingers.

Ash woke up again, still frozen in ice. He saw as the Ice King was chasing Bubblegum. He broke through the ice and ran toward the Ice King. He jumped and roundhouse kicked the King of Ice in the face.

Bubblegum continued running until she tripped over Ash's boomstick.

The Ice King recovered from the kick and looked at Ash. "That is it!" The Ice King began to charge up another lightning bolt.

"Ash!" Bubblegum said as she threw Ash his boomstick.

Ash caught the boomstick and fired at Ice King, taking off his crown.

"Ahh!" Ice King said as he ran for cover. "Whoa man, lets just chill."

Ash blew on the smoking barrel and turned to Ice King. "Alright, you icy screwhead, listen up." He raised his boomstick. "You see this?"

"Yeah?" The Ice King said. "What about it?"

"This... is my boomstick!" Ash yelled, making Ice King squeal and tremble in fear. "The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"

Dispute not knowing what half of Ash's words meant, The Ice King ran off, still scared.

Bubblegum ran toward to Ash, hugging him. "Thank you, brave knight."

"Oh, I'm not a knight." Ash said. "Just a man."

Bubblegum came closer to Ash's face and kissed him on the cheek.

Ash wrapped his arm around Bubblegum and pulled her close. "Give me some sugar, baby."

Bubblegum, who was overwhelmed by Ash's grooviness, wrapped her arms around him and they began to make out.

(Trust me, there is more to come. Much more.)


End file.
